The Ghost of Us
by Fagg-mcr
Summary: *FRERARD* Frank never fit in but when the new guy Gerard comes to town it seems his life is saved but who said love doesn't kill.
1. Chapter 1-3

Hello killjoys! this is my first attempt on making a Frerard Fanfic so please don't lash out :) but i hope you enjoy!

-Alli (sky-pill)

The Ghost of Us.

Chapter 1: Are there any coffee shops here?

* * *

March.

"Don't die please!" i scream for mercy. not for me, but for him. "Help someone please! anyone!?" we lay on his floor, his lifeless, from what i could tell, body in my arms. My tears spill onto his face. "Gerard!" i move the black hair from his pale face. I try to give him CPR but only to fail. I put my ear to his chest to hear a pulse, then.

August of the past year.

I walk down the street head phones in ignoring everyone as i walk to my after school job. Then a bunch of jocks drive by in their shiny car. I keep my head down and try to ignore them, "Hey faggot!" one yells. "Dwarf don't you have to be in a coal mine or holding some white chic hostage!" another yells. They throw a can of Monster at me and miss. for some ass whole jocks they can't throw worth shit. That's ok even though they're seniors and I'm the 5 foot tall junior I'll be running this place next year! Some people think I'm a midget senior because I have tattoo's. not just one though. No at the age of 17 I have full sleeves, 2 neck tattoo's, and my knuckles tattooed. I have connections.

Most guys my age use the money they get from their shitty jobs for their whiny ass girlfriends to take them to nice places they will complain about to their friends. Yea you look good but when they dump you or you dump them what good comes out of it then? She and every girl she talked about you to alive hates you and you wasted money on some chic who didn't mean shit in the long run. Not me I'm saving up for more tattoos and guitars. Guitar is my life it's all I think about.

I walk into my job it's a crummy music shop in the center of this shit whole town. I walk in, " you're late Iero!" my boss, Jody, yells from behind I shelf of music. "Sorry, jocks throwing fucking shit at me again." I look up from the floor taking my head phones out and noticing a mother and a small child looking at me. The mother pulls her child toward the door, the kid looks at me and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Iero!" I pull my attention back to Jody. She walks behind the counter and leans against it, "Iero if you don't start showing up on time I'm gonna have to fire you…and you know I don't want to." I know what she means. You see Jody is 20 and she's had a crush on me since I was in the 8th grade. I used to make out with her all the time but something changed…

"Frankie there's no one in here if you wanna make out?" she leans towards me inches from my lips.

_Ding _

The door rang I look over and I see two brothers walk in. Jody backs up and smiles her phony business smile.

"hi yea my name is Gerard and this is my brother mikey. We just moved here and um we wanted to know if there are any coffee shops here?" I see Gerard, I think he said his name was that, well he looked me up and down then coughed.

"um yea hi welcome to hell…" I make my best attempt to laugh sounding more fake than real.

"thanks haha" he smiled, wow he had a nice smile…

"yea if the boss here will let me I'll show you," I smile at Jody and we all look at her.

She sighs, "fine but be back soon or you know."

"don't worry I'll bring him back", Gerard smiles.

I grab my stuff off the counter and walk out with the guys. I start walking towards the direction of the coffee shop but then,

"we have a car!" Gerard says.

"what?"

"haha you don't have to walk we have a car hop in." he smiles at me.

His brother was really quite always had a straight face, like a poker face. I get in the passenger seat of their crappy old black car. Gerard starts the engine and we turn onto the road.

"so um Gerard and mikey? Is that right sorry I suck with names! Um how old are you?" I say sheepishly.

"well I'm 17, 18 in April." Gerard smiles at me.

"16 in September." Mikey adds in from the back seat.

"Awesome so mikey are you a junior and Gerard that makes you a senior right?" I ask.

"I'm actually a sophomore." Mikey sheepishly says.

"yea senior woohoo." Gerard adds sarcastically.

I point out the directions. In my mind I think about Gerard. And the thing is its good but weird I want to know him. Badly. But its more than a friendship feeling…more the I would fuck his brains out if I had the chance. but he was to cool to be like me ever. We all grab our coffee, gee (he told me to call him that!) paid for me because he felt bad that I was being sexually harassed by my boss (from what he saw).

"you could tell she wanted to fuck you right there on the counter! Like oh Frankie fuck me baby!" he rubbed his hand up and down his face and neck seductively. It was hot. We all laughed even mikey! When we finished our coffee we talked about bands and shit like that. They were so cool even mikey. But when it was time to go back to Jody gee hugged me and said keep your dick in your pants and tell that fucking slut to hop off! Then he got close…

"I can tell a gay a mile away…hey that rhymed." I looked like a dear in the headlights but how did he…I'm not even sure. But what I did know was I really fucking hate Jody, and I really wanted to see Gerard again…

Chapter 2 : call me a fucking queer again you little man slut.

The halls of school are covered with show school spirit, god damn I hate school. As I walked to biology I listened to iron maiden then I see Gerard in the main office then_ bam_ I walked face first into a locker not any locker Billie Joe Armstrong's locker. He is the most important football player at our school.

"Watch it queer!" Billie pushed me. "Damn Iero out of everyone here you were the last person I wanted to deal with today."

"shut the fuck up Armstrong." I Say strong even though I'm partially trembling. He grabs me by the vest I'm wearing and slams me against the lockers.

"better fucking watch it Iero!" he screams as a crowd merges.

"Shut the fuck up queer you won't do shit!" I yell not as loud as him.

"Call me a fucking queer again you little man slut!" Billie screams.

"Suck my dick you cunt! Everyone knows you're gay! So might as well suck a big one!" he raises his fist and I flinch but something happened and I fall to the ground. I look up just in time to see Gerard hit Billie.

"DON"T FUCKING TOUCH HIM!" I hear Gerard yell as he sits on top of Billie kicking his ass.

It took 4 teachers and mikey to pull Gerard off of Billie.

It's been 2 hours since school has been let out and so far I've seen Billie with a black eye and bleeding nose and an almost broken pinky finger, mikey and I just sat in silence until mikey decided we should talk.

"he really likes you…he's only done that twice and it was for me when I was bullied at our old school…he wouldn't have done that unless he really cared."

I sit in silence for a moment, "I think I really like him too…he made a big impression on me…"

Mikey smirks, "he's like that… he's like a leader…someone people need but don't know it. He's smart and caring. People don't usually see that in him…but you did. Frank…don't hurt him please. I know you won't but he's my brother and I know you'll care for him, I know we just met yesterday but us Way's can tell with people."

I want to cry…mikey is opening up to me, " I promise, you're a great brother mikey." I hug him silently. Then I hear a cough.

Chapter 3: hold me frank.

"hey." Gerard tries to smile. I can tell he was crying.

I hug him, "thank you Gee…I would've rather been hit than you be in trouble and its not even your first day…"

"no I don't ever wanna see you hurt. do you wanna come over for a while?" gee asks.

"definitely if its ok…" i smirk.

"it is" he smiles, as mikey walks ahead Gerard grabs my hand and I cant help but smile…

As we pull up to Gerard and mikey apartment I ask, "when will your parents be home." But no one answered so I left it alone.

We walk in and we all set our stuff next to the door, mikey walks down a hall and takes a left. Gerard smiles I look around but to my surprise Gerard slips a kiss in. it felt amazing but forbidden. It felt romantic, long and poetic. When we separate he smiles, hiding behind his firey red hair, He looks up and grabs my hand, "follow me." We go down to a second hall to the second door on the right, the lights are off and sheets are covering the windows. Gerard turns on a lamp and the room illuminates. Hand drawn pictures cover the room art materials are spread about. His bed unmade it was a crappy old bed but it looked somewhat sturdy. Gerard sits down on the bed and pats next to him. I follow.

"frank?" he sheepishly asks.

"yes gee…" I reply.

"was that the first time you've kissed a guy…" I knew he was scared when he said it.

I shake my head with a stupid grin, he chuckles.

"can I?" he asks as takes off his shirt. He wasn't built but he was so nice his body was perfect. Then he starts taking off my shirt and I let him. I know I'm not built either but I'm ok with him doing it. I feel hot now…so my fingers fumble to his belt and black skinny jeans. I slip his pants down, he's bulging and so am i. but I don't care cause as we lay in just underwear this feels safe for now considering we just met yesterday.

I hear him whisper, "frankie I love you…"

"I love you too…" and I meant it.

"hold me frank" he whispers into my chest.

I know we'll do more but it felt nice holding him.

So I did.

-hello its the author i hope you enjoyed the begining to "the ghost of us" i'll be updating and adding as much as i can so please enjoy-


	2. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: I want your dick iero.

Its been days since I've seen Gerard and I'm dying. I've missed a total of 4 days of work a Jody keeps texting me and telling me she wants me and we should "Do it." I've come to hate Jody with a passion. So I need money and have decided to go to work. I walk in and I don't see her thank god. I head toward the counter then the lights go off.

"Frankie…", Jody sits on a stool only her bra and panties on with a bottle of jack in one hand.

"go home slut, you're drunk." I yell at her. She fumbles of the stool laughing.

"I want your dick iero. Give it to me…" she laughs grabbing at my pants.

"fucking slut" I yell pushing her off me.

She laughs uncontrollably she's taller than me by a foot it seems, and she's stronger she plays soft ball and plays bass. The last thing had nothing to do with it; I just thought you'd like to know. Then in the middle of thinking she slams me against the wall, she was stronger than I thought.

"Frankie…frankie I love you baby…please love me too…frankie" she whines thumbing my face.

"fucking stop it Jody god damn it!" her blonde and pink hair is starting to stick to my face and mouth.

She tries to lift up my shirt and take off my pants but I finally push her hard enough to get the message through her thick head.

"Jody don't you fucking get it! I do not or will ever love you! I hate you! You are a fucking slut that I don't want! I love Gerard! You are too fucking easy! Even if you weren't I still would not love you! So go fuck off!" I yell so loud she stands there speechless. She falls to the floor crying and the jack bottle falls with her spilling on the carpet. She cries and I stand there feeling like the monster I am.

"Jody…I'm sorry…I'm really sorry I swear…" I try to make her stop crying.

"go.", she whispers.

"what.", I barely hear her.

"GO FRANK FUCKING GO!" she yells.

I don't argue, I leave I grab my stuff and go. As i unlock the door and walk out I hear Jody crying hard. I pause for a second, "Jody?"

"NO FRANK FUCKING GO!" She yells.

I walk out and Jody throws the bottle at my head missing. As I shut the door I put my hood over my head, the sky is dark and powerful.

I reach for my phone and call Gerard but no answer, so I call mikey. Mikey answered but he said he wasn't home but Gerard was. So I start walking. I pass by people and couples and loving families and I long for one of either of them. I want a family but I haven't had a solid home in forever. In case I never mentioned it I live with my friend Ray and his family. They're cool they give me space as long as I inform them if I'm coming home that night or I'm staying with a friend.

It takes me 30 minutes to walk to gee's, when I get there ii get the key Gerard gave me out of my pocket and unlock the door. Its quite, I head toward Gerard's door. I open it slowly. What I see nearly breaks my heart… Gerard is on the flower laying against his bed with a blade in his hands.

"frank…" he looks at me wanting to take back what I had seen.

I don't talk I just stand there trembling.

he stands up blood gushing from his arm and stains of red seeping through his shirt.

"Frankie I'm sorry!" he runs to me throwing the blade on the ground holding my arms. I fall to the floor not crying but really wanting to. I feel like how Jody did when I left her. Crushed. Wanting to just be alone and cry, to just hit a button and pause everything then rewind it. But life isn't a movie I can't pause life or rewind to keep things from happening you have to deal with the pain and get through everything even if it kills us.


	3. Chapter 5

I cannot begin to express my feeling for what he has done to himself. But I'm upset but that isn't the main reason. I'm upset because I am a monster. Humans don't yell at lonely girls, who actually love you, they don't call her a slut. I knew she cut and was suicidal and I knew she liked me because I understood her. Humans talk about it not yell and call her a slut. A monster would bring her down more which I have done. Humans don't sit and let their future boyfriend cry because you caught him cutting insanely and you just sit on the floor in silent then leave. Even if he screams your name, a human would answer and make things better. But I am no human I am a monster. I do not deserve Gerard's love.

So here I am, I haven't seen Gerard in a week and a half and it kills me more and more every day. I want him, badly, but I just don't want him in pain. I'm starting to think all I do is ruin people. So now I sit here all alone in a bar drinking my life away again. I have to pee…

I walk down the hall to the bathroom and I see my old girlfriend Jamia we were best friends we dated, she gave a lot, and I ruined her. I look at her in the eyes and she stares back at me.

"Frank…?" she calls, "frank can you hear me?" she has her hands on my arms pulling at my jacket sleeves.

"Frank", I hear Gerard's voice this time, but its coming out of her mouth. I reach for my pocket pulling out a cigarette not caring if I was in the middle of a crowded hallway. Jamia takes it from my mouth. So I grab a bottle of vodka I put in my book bag and jamia takes that too.

"Jamia…how bad did I ruin…" and with that I fall to the ground unconscious.

"Frank…answer me please…" I hear a faint voice. I open my eyes slowly and see I'm in a room I remember from a time of simplicity. Jamia's room was light with Christmas lights hanging from the wall with posters and a shade of sky blue as the canvas for the walls.

"Frank I'm glad you're ok…what happened?" jamia softly says. I'm lying on her bed and she sits next to me moving my long black hair from my face.

"I'm fucked up…I love someone who hurts themselves and I couldn't stop them and that kills me." I say as tears start piling in my eyes. "And I 'm starting to think everyone is miserable because of me…how bad did I ruin you?" I look up at her.

"Frank do you remember we went out for a year and a half and you cut yourself?" she starts. I try but nothing. So I shake my head.

"Well what did I expect you were either high or drunk 99% of our relationship…well you cut badly. Those are the scars on your arms the ones you probably don't remember…you didn't ruin me Frankie and you didn't ruin Gerard. Have you talked to him?"

"No I've been like this…I've been this monster." I whisper ashamed of the truth.

"You're not a monster Frankie you're just confused…" she hugs me.

"I'm tired of people using me jamia…gee wouldn't but I don't know lately I feel like hiding away and just slicing my arm because he did…"

"Frank, why do you do this to yourself? Go to him. If you don't want him to do something help. Now go." She pushes me out the door, then hugs me goodbye.

"Jamia, keep it fabulous." I say turning towards the highway.


End file.
